Trump’s Border Plans: Common Sense or Just Common Cents?

In the latest saga of the political circus that is the 2024 election, Donald Trump has apparently decided to become the ‘Border Patrol’ we never knew we needed, threatening once again to *shut down* the border with Mexico. “I’m not radical, just a guy with common sense,” he proclaimed at a rally, as if common sense has a dress code and comes with a trophy. He emphasized that Americans just want to kick back and relax without worrying about crime—like trying to enjoy your margarita on the beach without the sand getting in your drink!

Let’s not forget, though, that his election rival, Kamala Harris, is slightly edging him out in Michigan with a voting poll that has her ahead by a slim slice—48% to 47%. So, in true Trump style, he compared voting for her to ordering a recipe for disaster. “Vote for Kamala, and you’ll get chaos and destruction—like ordering an unexpected broccoli pizza when you’re craving pepperoni!”

While Trump dreams of sealing the border like it’s a bag of chips in a diet, he insists, “We want people, just the legal kind, like the VIPs of immigration!” He envisions sending undocumented folks back home—”return to sender!” might as well be his campaign slogan. He’s also planning a big budget boost for border security; you know, because who doesn’t love a good ‘let’s-beef-up-our-guards’ discussion during the political fiesta?

In the meanwhile, as Trump looks to ride the wave of his own political surfboard, he assures everyone that this would mean ‘peace and safety,’ the ultimate double whammy! Here’s hoping this election year just gets more entertaining; I mean, it’s like watching a reality show, and who doesn’t love a good cliffhanger?

So, buckle up folks, because with Trump and Harris in the mix, it’s bound to be a wild ride with a side of laughs!